Good morning, people of Crumble. We’re coming at you LIVE from the Mayor’s office where he is about to deliv- What do you mean it’s not really live, Mary? I can see you writing it all down as I speak. –Yes it is. That’s exactly what ‘live’ means. I speak it live here at the […]
Read moreYou know, I really didn’t think I would have to write such a seemingly obvious post but here we are. I am dismayed, I despair, I am in great sadness, and it brings me no joy to have to remind you all that the Resisters are a terrorist group and that means, no, they can’t […]
Read moreI have just received some really quite “breaking news”, as we say in the business. In fact, it even put a hole in the wall. Although that was also the doing of some of the Mayor’s henchmen who rather didn’t fit through the door. Mayor Minopoly to announce new funding cuts Well, my dear good […]
Read moreThis is an ammendumum to Fanny’s previous post about the Crumble Organisation for Competitive Knitting. She has written me a letter asking to put out a second release, and it goes as follows: Har dee har, yes we have been made aware as to what our name spells out when used as an acronym. Grow […]
Read moreHi everyone, and thanks to Danny for letting me post on the Bulletin. Myself, Mable from down the road, and She Who Crushes Your Skull Underfoot have decided to band together and make a little competitive knitting club. It’s officially called the Crumble Organisation for Competitive Knitters and we’re very excited to bring this sport […]
Read moreAfter the recent upsurge in nuisance behaviour, back-talking, and wriggling lots when being arrested, Mayor Minopoly in conjunction with the sheriffs office has officially and henceforth banned public displays of resistance. What this means for your daily lives For the most part, most of you should be unaffected by this change in law. If anything, […]
Read moreLet’s just put this out there – yes, for the love all that is sweet and merciful in this fine and terrible Waste, we know the supply convoy was struck last night. You don’t need to keep shouting at us through the windows for goodness’ sake. What happened? As is my public duty that I […]
Read moreJust when you think you know a guy. The sheriff’s office has put out an official bounty and wanted poster for MELVIN LI, the one-time opinions columnist here at the Crumble Bulletin. Henceforth, from this point onwards and until someone who gets paid more than I do says otherwise, Melvin Li is a criminal. Should […]
Read moreThey’re PANTS with CHAIR LEGS built into them. Just walk around and sit your ass down wherever you like. Hi, it’s Miriam here from Shoulda Wooda and wouldn’t ya know it but we’ve just created the town’s greatest new invention. If you’re tired of walking around all day, toiling away on your many tasks while […]
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