I have seen the light. Did I say these policies suck? I meant that they’re great. Really, just, good policies.
This is Melvin Li here, with another one of Melvin’s Opinions.
New mayor not as bad as everyone thinks
In my last Opinion, I might have mentioned one or two things about the new policies sucking. I believe I said specifically that this would be “one of the worst mayorship ordeals in Crumble history”, and that the battle-to-the-death system was far superior.
I said specifically that this would be “one of the worst mayorship ordeals in Crumble history”, and that the battle-to-the-death system was far superior.
I might have mentioned that employing more sheriffs was not as great an issue as starvation, disease, mutation, a lack of good farmland and bandit attacks.
I might have written, in detail, that pulling down houses to build more farms was a terrible idea – I implied that the people who lose their homes won’t see an ounce of wealth from the new venture, but rather the Mayor’s Office that collects the taxes.
Look, it’s possible that I wrote about how cutting funding to the One Acre Wall was dooming us all to a horrifying, flora-based death.
I might have used such inappropriate nicknames for the new mayor as:
- Moppers
- Fopopoly
- The moustachioed fat man who stole power from the people
But I have seen the light.
I have been convinced
That’s right, Crumble folk. After a very, very long conversation with Mayor Minopoly, Danny the new Bulletin editor, a couple of sheriffs and some kind of giant grey-skin mutant with muscles the size of my head, I have been convinced that my opinions were incorrect.
In fact, I think it’s important that I officially apologise for potentially leading you all astray.
I hereby apologise for my prior comments.
My facts were based on those of the liar and wanted criminal Flynn Harris, and my opinion on them was of course equally false. I have perpetrated inaccurate accusations and hurt people’s feelings, and for that I am eternally sorry.
You don’t often get a fucking apology out of me, so enjoy it while it lasts.
While it all lasts…
– Melvin