While we wait for the stage to be fully repaired and for the nightmares of Alex Alexson Sr Sr’s truly horrific screams to finally stop repeating themselves over and over and over and over in our heads, let’s take the time to go through some more of Mary’s pile of letters!
Dear editor,
I’ve attended both debates so far and seen all of the posters, bunting and banners flapping around the town. So far, I have to say, I’m not impressed. OK, so the fight-to-the-death system wasn’t perfect, and I’m no decrepit fuddy-duddy like Old Man McGregor, but how can we all seriously be lapping up this immense waste of time?
All of the questions and answers at the debates so far have been pretty terrible (of no fault of the Overlords, I fully believe. The Overlords are perfect in every way and I love them all dearly. Did I mention how great they are at asking questions and hosting elections?), and the only person who has given even a remotely educated answer is a money-hungry monster by the name of Mr Minopoly. A monster who cares more about numbers than human or sort-of-human lives. Fuck that guy, that’s what I say.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Well, Anonymous, we certainly have to agree with you – the Fight to the Death system was certainly easier to understand than this one. Two candidates go in, bing bang wallop, you have a mayor and one less mouth to feed.
MAN I loved the Fight to the Death system.
Dear eddytor,
One time I tried wurkin’ wif Mr Minopoly an’ he took all me money. But then one time I tried talkin’ to Edwina an’ she took all me time. But then one time I tried buyin’ from Murdery Matt an’ he took all me money ‘swell, but ‘least I got a new leg out o’ that one.
My vote’s on the one who start’d screamin’ an’ that. He seemed like a smarty. The other cannidates make me nervous.
From,
Cedrick
Fair play, Cedrick me buckeroo. They make all of us a little nervous, I think.
Who will you be voting for? Send us a letter! And please don’t pin more bloodied skin to the door – it’s not paper, and we don’t want to clean it up.
– Flynn Harris
