Dear readers,

We are aware of the distressing nature of our most recent content, which contained a hideous drawing of Mayor Minopoly as well as some rather disturbing prose, signed by the so-called Resisters.

Disregard it all. Cast if from your simple minds. Hit yourselves on the head, if it must be so.

Here at the Bulletin, we take care to produce only the highest quality, best, most stupendously well researched gossip from the town. Or at least, we do now that Flynn Harris is gone. For us to allow ourselves to be hijacked in such a manor is simply shameful, and for that we humbly and most sincerely apologise, yes indeed we do.

At this moment we believe the maleficent criminal Flynn Harris is to blame for the reckless endangerment of the Crumble Bulletin, which we thought he loved but he has now revealed he actually hates (and we hear he hates Crumble as a whole, too). The sheriffs and I are both investigating how this occured, for we shan’t let it happen again.

Stay tuned for more, dearest readers. We’ll catch that no-good criminal yet.

– Danny Leonardo the Third or Fourth Depending on Who You Ask