Hi all, you’ll be lucky to get a complete list of Death Notices at his point I think, as the situation is developing rapidly, I’m already drunk, and it’s nearly time for me to go home and stop reporting. That said, we have been receiving some names and hearing a few more through the grapevine, so I’ve compiled the confirmed deaths below.
Note: Please don’t come in and complain if you submitted a name and they don’t appear below. I really don’t care what you saw with your own two eyes! Whatever it was you saw, my response is “People have survied worse.” If the name isn’t here, I’ve confirmed that they are in fact not dead, or else the body has gone missing so they’ve been moved to MIA (which I’m not including in our notices at this stage).
UPDATE: Gorgon has been moved from dead to MIA as the body stood up, hissed loudly at Glen from the corpsewagon, and wandered off into some spooky shadows. But, knowing Gorgon’s personality, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he has turned into one of those horribly beasty undead Things. Could just be a bad day (waking up on the corpsewagon will do that to a person). If he reappears, we’ll update again.
UPDATE 2: Yep, definitely a horrible beasty undead Thing. Popped out of an alley and stole my dinner, the rotten bastard. But better my sandwich than flesh, I suppose. Have moved him back to dead.
Official death notices
- Sonny Jim
- Last words: You hear that whistling noise?
- Eep
- Last words: Eep!
- The Topson Triplets
- Collective last words: Mr Minopoly is a cheat, Mr Minopoly smells like fee–
- Maurice the Teethpuller
- Last words: Get a load of this, boys! Bought it at an auction last month. Can still shoot the wings off a bitefly’s arse – just watch.
- Gordonina Aninodrog IV
- Last words: Unheard, but were presumably as pretentious as she was in life.
Gorgon Beefslammer, Fifth of His Name, Heir to the Lands of BeefLast words: Hear the words of Gorgon and know fear, pathetic, protesting weaklings!
- Gorgon Beefslammer, Fifth of His Name, etc.
- Reinstated as a dead person, please see above scribbled-out words.
– Flynn