Looks like we’ve got a few new Death Notices to discuss this week now that the Battle for the Crumble Lookout and Heart of Janice Butler has wound down. Flynn is still out of action, holed up in Goldstein’s hospital while he gets his wittle oopsy-woopsies looked at by a doctor.

Cor it was a great bloody battle, wasn’t it? I wish I’d gotten there sooner, I only caught the tail-end. Still managed to clobber at least one person in the skull, though. I think it was Robert Hundred Eyes but I can’t be sure (didn’t see the eyes to count ’em). I saw him wriggling away in the dirt though, so he’s not included below.

Official death notices

• Grissle the Scavenger
  • The only thing he couldn’t scavenge was his own life
• Dingbutt Humpernickle
  • Last words: Oh what, so you need mammy’s help? You cowar-
• Harpsichord Smith
  • Last words: I don’t care if he was your boy. Dingbutt was going after my Jason!
• Mr Butler
  • Last words: Don’t bother jumping down that cliff. I’ll follow ya to the ends of the Waste ya perverted bastard!
• Yohan Arnoldson
  • Last words: I love you all. Thank you for being here.
  • (this death was not related to the fight up Crumble lookout way. Yohan died peacefully in his sleep overnight surrounded by his family, loved ones, and a few strangers who thought it’d be interesting to see a man die. Yohan is succeeded by his four sons, all of whom are, sadly, idiots. But that’s what you get for spoiling your kids).

– Melvin