Apologies for the day-late Death Notices, I hope you’re still alive this week and not dismembered in any way. Bloody tits, that rampaging Waste Beast was huge, wasn’t it? Don’t think I’ve ever seen one so big. Donald really screwed up this time.
Anyway, notices are a little bit longer this week, so you can probably just skip through. I don’t have last words for half of them, either, which is probably a good thing considering the sheer agony they were in when dying.
Official death notices
- Donald Hugh
- Last words: “(something about his wee lad, I think?)”
- Marisha Hugh
- Last words: “(couldn’t hear over the screaming. Something angry, presumably – we all know what she was like).”
- Rory and Tyler McFarlain
- Last words for both of them: Do you hear that?
- Old Man McGregor
- Last mutterings: “Something something buggerya something else.”
- Betty from down the road, you know, whassername
- Horace Bladefingers
- Brunhilda Bladefingers
- Jack Brown
- Sophie Brown
So something finally managed to off Old Man McGregor, eh? And so many other deaths. May that Waste Beast suffer indigestion from their souls, the bastard.
– Flynn Harris
