Morning all!
Plenty of you have been asking for a regular death notices update so you can keep track of all the gossip, so if you could please send in details of your recently deceased, I’ll compile them regularly and publish them here in the Bulletin.
NB: If your relative has become deceased but then stood up again, please don’t submit their name. I don’t want some disgruntled corpse knocking on the door to the office demanding we recall the most recent publication. Poor Mary’s heart couldn’t take that. Not after that thing with that fella last year.
Official death notices
- Fraser Andrews
- Last words: “Tell my family I love them.”
- Margaret the Mattressmaker
- Last words: Unheard.
- Donald Hugh’s wee boy, can’t remember his name (I wasn’t officially informed of his death, but I don’t think he’s getting up again after that Waste Beast incident).
- Last words: “(blood-curdling screams of agony)”
- Harold Hardison
- Last words: “Is that a Waste Beast over there?”
- Julia Wilson
- Last words: “Get your hand off my purse, you thieving little shite.”
May their souls rest in peace.
– Flynn Harris
