The township of Crumble will have its very first debate as of, uh, well, tomorrow. The town council are calling it a ‘snap’ debate – under the assumption that anyone who needs more than an afternoon and night to prepare isn’t capable of fast decision making (and bullshitting on the fly) and therefore isn’t qualified […]
Read moreHi everyone, I’m Doctor Goldstein, Crumble’s most trusted (and only) medical expert. I’m posting on the Bulletin today because a lot of you have been coming to me recently with medical troubles that, quite frankly, don’t require a practitioner. You see, injury is commonplace here in the Waste, but that doesn’t mean you need to […]
Read moreG’day all, it’s Murder Matt here for Murder Matt’s Magnficent Mayor Campaign. Murder Matt’s Magnificent Mayor Campaign. This is Crumble, right? We’re all Crumbleites. We know hardship. We know strength. We built this town on the backs of our ancestors, our blood in the soil, our broken bones being used to prop up new walls […]
Read moreYour blood isn’t your lifeblood. Your money is your lifeblood. Forget what’s in your body. Stop thinking about it. No, stop thinking about it. You need a candidate who can handle your money, and knows what it takes to grow more. Because money buys happiness, and without it you can’t be happy. We don’t need […]
Read moreI know there’s been a lot of gossip around the town this past couple of days, so consider this the official statement from the Crumble Bulletin. Melvin Li in prison Yes, Melvin Li has been imprisoned. He was sentenced by Overlord Primarch to two weeks of Reparative Treatment and is unlikely to be able to appeal. […]
Read moreWow! I did not expect this new voting system to be picked up so quickly by Crumble. No offense meant to you all, of course, but the to-the-death system was certainly a lot of fun. Letters have been streaming in from all corners, talking about how awesome it is to finally have a competition that […]
Read moreHi, mah name is Lucy Cohen an’ Flynn has been real kind enough to let me post in this here Bulletin. I’m lookin’ for a nice person to be mah partner. Husband is what I was thinkin’. He should be smart, strong an’ kind, an’ I don’t rightly mind if he has a beard or […]
Read moreBack in my day, folk used to mess each other up when they wanted to lead. It wasn’t a perfect system, but it worked. What do we have now? Well… This is Melvin Li here, with another one of Melvin’s Opinions. The good old days It’s no secret that I preferred the good old days, […]
Read moreIt’s been an exciting day here at the Crumble Bulletin. Mary and I have been running around like headless mutants talking to people, gathering up all sorts of colourful banners and just generally being useful. Well, Mary was. I sat here and drank all day. First two candidates announced The first two candidates have stepped […]
Read moreMary handed me a letter today that I think speaks for many of the younger Crumble folk. Once I wiped all the green ooze off the paper, it said this: Dear editor, I’m confused about somethin’, and not just why my eyes keep meltin’ without me askin’ them to. It sounds like bein’ mayor is hard […]
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