Are you ready to vote?! Voting commences real soon That’s right, folks. All this tomfoolery and nonsense is coming to a close. The Crumble Elections are moving into the voting stage in exactly one week! The voting period will then last for 24 hours, with the vote count occurring as soon as possible after. Really, […]
Read moreAs gossip in Crumble escalates wildly out of control thanks to the mayoral elections just around the corner, there’s been a new twist to these past few months of nonsense. Murder Matt … out of the race? You read right, folks – assuming you read that subheading and didn’t absorb the words with your mutant […]
Read moreMurder Matt’s Magnificent Mayor Campaign: If you don’t vote for Murder Matt, ya may as well be murderin’ the town. Murder Matt: A mayor so good, your friends will wanna murder ya for him. This bulletin post was extorted by the Murder Matt Magnificent Mayor Campaign. – Flynn Harris
Read moreThis bulletin post has been paid for by the Edwina Packard campaign. And she actually paid, too! Who would have thought that’d ever happen. She’s got a good point, too. Is his gut, like, a condition or something? Most of us are starving. I don’t want to fat shame anybody because that’s a bit cruel […]
Read moreThis ad was paid for by the Vote Mr Minopoly Campaign. And by that we mean it was paid for by all of us, because he probably has our money. And don’t ask me what any of these candidates are standing for, because I still don’t really know. Maybe we did need those debates after […]
Read moreMateys and potateys, welcome to the third Crumble debate! This is the final of the series, with voting scheduled to take place not long after the conclusion of tonight’s big event. The smog has been shining all day and here at the Bulletin, we’re taking that as a good sign. So, let’s get stuck into the […]
Read moreYou read right, folks! The stage is fully repaired (well … replaced) and we’re back in action for a third Crumble Electoral Debate, or whatever it is we’ve been calling this series. So, who will you be coming out to support? Mr Minopoly Murder Matt Edwina Packard Bring your best banners, your prettiest picket signs, […]
Read moreA dangerous criminal has broken free from Crumble Prison after a large hole was kicked in a cell wall the other night. This criminal – who goes by the name Two-Headed Joe/Moe (depending which head you ask) – is considered highly dangerous. He will not hesitate to stab you, beat you with his fists, beat […]
Read moreIt’s been about a month since I was out of prison now. I’ve been asking around some fellow ex-cons and lemme tell ya: the Crumble prison system is a heap of steaming bullshit. Just about anyone could escape! This is Melvin Li here, with another one of Melvin’s Opinions. What happened to our prison? Yeah […]
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