Afternoon Update Greetings again, folk of Crumble. Election Day is progressing nicely down here at the town hall, with townsfolk coming out in their Droves (you know, that little wooden transport cart thingy that Larnold and Tilda invented, the one where you sit in the back and your kids pull) to be here today, and […]
Read moreMorning Update Good morning everyone! It’s Crumble’s very own Election Day and I – Flynn Harris – have returned from hospital just to report on it for you. I was also kicked out by Dr. Goldstein, because apparently I’ve got enough blood to survive now. Like he knows. I KNOW MY OWN BODY. Anyway. Let’s […]
Read moreLooks like we’ve got a few new Death Notices to discuss this week now that the Battle for the Crumble Lookout and Heart of Janice Butler has wound down. Flynn is still out of action, holed up in Goldstein’s hospital while he gets his wittle oopsy-woopsies looked at by a doctor. Cor it was a […]
Read moreMelvin still here, filling in for Flynn while he mucks about like the coward he is. Voting commences tomorrow and will run for 24 hours, or as close to it as we can count. Get down to the town hall and let’s get this stupid, democratic process done with. If anyone wants to start a fight, […]
Read moreHi all, Amelia Anderson from the Town Council here. Eating your voting card is strictly prohibited whilst on electoral premises (i.e. town hall). Although there’s been a distinct rise in starvation in Crumble recently, you must absolutely, 100%, without the shadow of the faintest, teensy-weensy doubt, chew, swallow (or both) your elections Voting Card. If […]
Read moreA significant fight is taking place at the Crumble lookout, with reports and hearsay flowing into the Bulletin as fast as Mary and Higgins can sort through it. What’s going on? It’s currently believed that Mr Butler, father of 17-year-old Janice Butler, has finally caught up with the Crumble Bulletin’s Flynn Harris and has begun what […]
Read moreLouise and Louis Smith have lost their beloved family pet, Fuzzyface. If found, please report to them or the Crumble Bulletin. Fuzzyface is not to be approached without a long, sharp weapon and a sturdy net. It should be treated with great respect and an even greater distance. – Melvin
Read moreHowdy all, Melvin Li here with a totally un-Melvin, un-opinionated announcement. Temporary change in writer Flynn, after his glorious interview with Edwina Packard, has vanished from Crumble. In the meantime, I will keep you updated with the usual content, until such time as Flynn is found, or I kill myself at having to do this. […]
Read moreRemember not to bring those weapons! The elections have been a shambles enough without you lopping some bloke’s head off ’cause he disagrees with your choice. Just tick the bloody box you want and go home. – Sheriff’s Office
Read moreGood afternoon, everyone! Flynn Harris here, and today we’re going to be sitting down with your favourite Crumble Elections candidate (50% chance I got that right) Edwina Packard, and treating this written interview as a live talk show. That’s right, we’re just going to pretend there’s cameras and folks listening in, because no matter how […]
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