Since the announcement of Crumble's new mayor, things have gotten real ugly. Riots are brewing on every corner, exploding into violent fights.
Read moreAnd the winner is… After what has been one of the busiest days in Crumble’s recent history, the votes for Crumble Mayor are finally in – with a shock victory for Mr Minopoly! Minopoly takes the cake… …and he’d probably eat it, too – just look at the rotund bugger. Goodness knows how he manages […]
Read moreSo it looks like the new stash of votes is going to make this race a lot tighter than we expected. Just hold on a little longer, everybody. If you’re near a solid object, grab it! Unless it’s at crotch height, in which case please report it to the sheriff. In the meantime, feast your […]
Read moreSorry to keep you all in suspense, people. I know most of you are keen for this to be over. The council volunteers, now led by a replacement Head Counter who I don’t recognise but who has a big, wide face like a sieve, has just discovered a treasure trove of uncounted voting pamphlets that […]
Read moreA small Monopolite raiding party has split off from the main rabble outside the town hall and found its way inside, dismembering two council volunteers and fleeing after a short but deeply fierce battle. People are taking this vote very seriously It turns out that as soon as you take the Fight to the Death […]
Read moreViolence is brewing outside the Town Hall as Crumble’s Voting Day draws to its close – and the inevitable release of the final results. Gang clashes at election central The Monopolites are out in force this evening, having gone from literally not existing to a full-blown gang in barely a few hours. Gosh they organised […]
Read moreMore Initial Results A cold winter falls on this proud election day where I barfed a bit Both the poetry and the count continues! As the official counters tell us they’ve passed half way (but reckon they aren’t quite at three-quarters just yet), Edwina continues to pull ahead – though a smattering of pitiful votes […]
Read moreInitial Results The grinding cogs of democracy spin ever closer to their end. Hot damn I’m a good poet. Oh, um, right, what I’m trying to tell you with my extraordinary prosetry is that the first batch of results are available and, as you can see, Edwina Packard has slipped into the lead against her […]
Read moreEvening Update Night is falling all around us, but the voting line here at the Crumble town hall won’t let up! It’s been a good day of voting and fighting so far, but we’ll be drawing to a close in a few hours. So how are we looking? Looking back on this momentous day It […]
Read moreFinal Reminder to Vote Today may be your only chance EVER to vote in an election. Who knows what will happen in the next one? If you haven’t voted yet, get your ass, asses or whatever the hell you sit on all day and move down to the town hall! Why are you still reading […]
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