Melvin still here, filling in for Flynn while he mucks about like the coward he is. Voting commences tomorrow and will run for 24 hours, or as close to it as we can count. Get down to the town hall and let’s get this stupid, democratic process done with. If anyone wants to start a fight, […]
Read moreHi all, Amelia Anderson from the Town Council here. Eating your voting card is strictly prohibited whilst on electoral premises (i.e. town hall). Although there’s been a distinct rise in starvation in Crumble recently, you must absolutely, 100%, without the shadow of the faintest, teensy-weensy doubt, chew, swallow (or both) your elections Voting Card. If […]
Read moreA significant fight is taking place at the Crumble lookout, with reports and hearsay flowing into the Bulletin as fast as Mary and Higgins can sort through it. What’s going on? It’s currently believed that Mr Butler, father of 17-year-old Janice Butler, has finally caught up with the Crumble Bulletin’s Flynn Harris and has begun what […]
Read moreHowdy all, Melvin Li here with a totally un-Melvin, un-opinionated announcement. Temporary change in writer Flynn, after his glorious interview with Edwina Packard, has vanished from Crumble. In the meantime, I will keep you updated with the usual content, until such time as Flynn is found, or I kill myself at having to do this. […]
Read moreRemember not to bring those weapons! The elections have been a shambles enough without you lopping some bloke’s head off ’cause he disagrees with your choice. Just tick the bloody box you want and go home. – Sheriff’s Office
Read moreGood afternoon, everyone! Flynn Harris here, and today we’re going to be sitting down with your favourite Crumble Elections candidate (50% chance I got that right) Edwina Packard, and treating this written interview as a live talk show. That’s right, we’re just going to pretend there’s cameras and folks listening in, because no matter how […]
Read moreAre you ready to vote?! Voting commences real soon That’s right, folks. All this tomfoolery and nonsense is coming to a close. The Crumble Elections are moving into the voting stage in exactly one week! The voting period will then last for 24 hours, with the vote count occurring as soon as possible after. Really, […]
Read moreAs gossip in Crumble escalates wildly out of control thanks to the mayoral elections just around the corner, there’s been a new twist to these past few months of nonsense. Murder Matt … out of the race? You read right, folks – assuming you read that subheading and didn’t absorb the words with your mutant […]
Read moreMurder Matt’s Magnificent Mayor Campaign: If you don’t vote for Murder Matt, ya may as well be murderin’ the town. Murder Matt: A mayor so good, your friends will wanna murder ya for him. This bulletin post was extorted by the Murder Matt Magnificent Mayor Campaign. – Flynn Harris
Read moreThis bulletin post has been paid for by the Edwina Packard campaign. And she actually paid, too! Who would have thought that’d ever happen. She’s got a good point, too. Is his gut, like, a condition or something? Most of us are starving. I don’t want to fat shame anybody because that’s a bit cruel […]
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