Your life is boring, you know it to be true. Every day you wake up, you skip breakfast because it fights back (and it’s stronger than you). You go about the day’s mindless tasks, fixing something, digging something, massaging something, and then you go home – skipping dinner, because it’s still stronger than you. If […]

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Are you ready to start typing, Mary? Oh, you’re already typing? Argh, dammit Mary, not this again. OK, calm yourself, Flynn. The mayor is coming and you need to act like a professional. OK, calm. Calming thoughts – like dead wolfcats, floating gently down a river, hissing and sizzling with quiet pops in the acid water. […]

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And the winner is… After what has been one of the busiest days in Crumble’s recent history, the votes for Crumble Mayor are finally in – with a shock victory for Mr Minopoly! Minopoly takes the cake… …and he’d probably eat it, too – just look at the rotund bugger. Goodness knows how he manages […]

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