Are you ready to vote?!

Voting commences real soon

That’s right, folks. All this tomfoolery and nonsense is coming to a close. The Crumble Elections are moving into the voting stage in exactly one week! The voting period will then last for 24 hours, with the vote count occurring as soon as possible after. Really, the only thing delaying the count is whether or not we can find someone who can count (that isn’t one of the candidates…)!

What this means for you, good people of Crumble, is you will, at some point on the day,  have to get off your collective buttockses and mosy on down to the town hall to receive a voting card. You’ll be greeted by assistants of the Town Council, who will then direct you to the nearest voting cave.

All further instructions will be provided at the time, but I’ve been asked by the Council to leave a few warnings for the day. Some do’s and don’ts!

Voting Day do’s and don’ts

• DO: Turn up during the 24-hour voting period. Latecomers will miss out. And no, Old Man McGregor, you don’t get an excuse just because you’re decrepit. If it’ll take you ages to get there, start walking the day before.
• DON’T: Campaign for your favourite candidate within 100 metres of the town hall during that 24-hour period. If you do, or you are suspected, the sheriff has promised personally to beat your skull in with his new Olivia’s Stick Centre stick, which I’m told is sufficiently thick and knobbly (teehee).
• DO: Wear clothes, please. I don’t know what the Council is expecting, but hey, they asked me to warn you so here you go.
• DON’T: Bring weapons with you. Any threats of violence will be met with greater violence, and I have been assured that the sheriff is prepared to escalate any and all conflicts to their maximum conclusion. We’re talking about the guy who once ate a murderer alive during a police chase – don’t push your luck.

We’ll be bringing you plenty more elections coverage between now and then, so stay tuned, have a think about your favourite candidate and – most importantly – get to the town hall in exactly one week!!

– Flynn Harris