Only one person in this mayoral race has experience running a town.

During my tenure as father and mayor of Alex’s Town, I increased productivity among my brood by 315%, economic output by 231%, forced-reported happiness by 53%, and town beautification by 15% (by removing the corpses of the last Alex family from the gallows where we hung them).

In addition, I also reduced spontaneous acts of extreme violence between family members, fought off a minor bandit invasion from the south, and held a successful beauty pagent. My daughter Alex won, and she looked lovely.

Any candidate who feels they could do a better job of running this town is welcome to say so to my face, where upon I shall grasp their skull with my claws and tear off their pathetic skin and bone to reveal that there truly is nothing between their ears.

If they continue to fight back I shall cleave their limbs from their torso and roll them sideways down a large hill, which doesn’t sound impressive but will be hideously painful I assure you.

This town is dying, and it’s because it’s isn’t run by an Alex.

Well, I’m here.

– Alex Alexson Sr. Sr.