A dangerous criminal has broken free from Crumble Prison after a large hole was kicked in a cell wall the other night. This criminal – who goes by the name Two-Headed Joe/Moe (depending which head you ask) – is considered highly dangerous.

He will not hesitate to stab you, beat you with his fists, beat you with your own fists, or make mean comments about you. DO NOT APPROACH unless you are well-armed, highly trained or are sneaking up to him at night with a bludgeoning implement.

BLUDGEONING IMPLEMENTS AVAILABLE FOR HIRE AT SHERIFF’S OFFICE if you would like to take the law into your own hands and streamline this whole process.

– Sheriff’s Office, via Flynn Harris