A reminder to you all, the angry mob will be gathering at nightfall this weekend. YOU WILL NEED TO BRING YOUR OWN WEAPONS. Please see our previous post about the specifics on this.

What is the current plan of attack?

This mob is forming to oust you-know-who from our town once and for all. No complaining, no sneaky games – just good old fashioned Crumble justice. As the subject of the mob is a seasoned combat veteran, we will need to take certain safety precautions when beginning our attack run.

Firstly, please remain in your mob position. We can’t have non-angry faces in the front, and anyone with an arm as strong as Higgins’ can’t be anywhere in the ranks behind. You will be assigned a position on the night so please remember it and stick to it. Memorise your mob buddy and watch their back.

Second, we will be attempting a standard ‘yell and scramble’ strategy on the evening. Higgins, Melvin, Mary, and Bob Harker will be leading the shouting parade when we encounter our subject. Cover your children’s ears at this point – harsh words will be spoken.

Finally, once diplomacy has been concluded the mob will stampede forwards at a moderate pace, set by Bob Harker with his new stick from Steve and Olivia’s. Please follow close behind, and be sure to wave your weapon nice and high. When the first rank hits the subject, the next few ranks need to swarm either side (we will be rehearsing before we set off, so no need to memorise this fully now). Once we have the subject penned in, the weaker ranks can move forwards and yell a bit.

Remember, this is a mob, not a mess. Safety first, everyone.

Oh, and to ease any concerns you might have, Mary has obtained a Mob Permit 205 from Overlord Command. So we good.

See you there.

– Flynn Harris