As gossip in Crumble escalates wildly out of control thanks to the mayoral elections just around the corner, there’s been a new twist to these past few months of nonsense.

Murder Matt … out of the race?

You read right, folks – assuming you read that subheading and didn’t absorb the words with your mutant finger suckers (yes looking at you Ms Rasberry Thornton  – stop doing it in public. The sucking noises make us all uncomfortable and it’s weird to watch).

Murder Matt has mysteriously disappeared after releasing the latest, perhaps ill-thought-out addition of his Murder Matt’s Magnificent Mayor Campaign poster. The poster, which suggests that we all murder a bunch of folk, including our beloved Overlords might I point out, was spread around the town over the past few days and, well, now Matt is gone.

Now I’m not sayin’ nothin’, but … maybe don’t tell people to murder the Overlords?

Consider that your advice for the day.

In other news

The Crumble Elections are down to just two candidates, meaning there’s a 50/50 chance that you’ll vote correctly! Assuming one out of two candidates is suitable. Many of your letters have suggested recently that neither may be ideal, but bugger it. We’re voting whether it’s smart or not, and we can’t just go murderin’ folk we don’t agree with.

So let’s get voting, folks! Keep an eye on your humble Crumble Bulletin for updates on when, where and how to vote, as we’ll bring you all the latest coverage.

– Flynn Harris