Your life is boring, you know it to be true.

Every day you wake up, you skip breakfast because it fights back (and it’s stronger than you). You go about the day’s mindless tasks, fixing something, digging something, massaging something, and then you go home – skipping dinner, because it’s still stronger than you. If anything, it’s gained more power since you’ve been gone. Now you risk being its dinner.

How long can you keep this up?

We say – not one day more.

As a part of the exciting new Sheriffs Department of Crumble as a new, exciting Under Deputy, you’ll be fed, clothed, and weaponised like never before. Those who show promise will even be trained on how to use those weapons, with the end goal of building you up to be a new, exciting sheriff! A real sheriff! Imagine telling your mammy about that when she’s listening.

So what are you waiting for? We have recruitment stations all over Oughta Go. You don’t need to be a local to police the locals. In fact, some say it’s even easier not to be.

Start your life again.

Keep Crumble safe.

And have fun doing it.

Join the Sheriffs Department of Crumble.

– Sheriffs Department, via Mayor Minopoly