Morning Update
Good morning everyone! It’s Crumble’s very own Election Day and I – Flynn Harris – have returned from hospital just to report on it for you. I was also kicked out by Dr. Goldstein, because apparently I’ve got enough blood to survive now. Like he knows. I KNOW MY OWN BODY.
Anyway.
Let’s stuck in with what’s happening, shall we?
The doors open on our first vote-based election in ages
So I’m at the town hall right now reporting live. Big thanks first off to all the tiny children (and, I’m fairly certain, one miniature-sized adult male) who are running between me and the Bulletin office to ensure these updates reach you today! This is as close to truly Live as we’ve ever been, folks.
The voting caves are all set up and it looks like Mayor Tom and Overlord Primarch, among many, many, many other Overlord soldiers and political units, are here to kick things off! Literally – I just watched an H-unit soldier kick aside one of my little runner boys. Or maybe it was the mini-man? I hope it was, because he can probably take more carbon-steel kicks than his younger cousins.
Mayor Tom and Overlord Primarch are here to kick things off! Literally, I just watched an H-unit soldier kick aside one of my little runner boys.
Mayor Tom casts his vote
Mayor Tom is casting his vote, smiling and waving at everyone present. He’s looking great this morning, so obviously he hasn’t been tortured yet. You know, they say the torture-units are always harder on your last day of office, to make sure you don’t forget.
Overlord Primarch is stepping up…
And it looks like he is actively choosing to abstain. I didn’t even know you could abstain! Hell, I wanna abstain – this vote sucks. Fight to the death! I’m still rooting for that.
Oh, it’s speaking.
“Fleshy skinbags of this crumbling, repugnant town,” it’s saying, quite loudly, too. It hurts a bit. “This unit chooses not to vote in your so-called elections. Doing so might look as though I favour one of you, when this could not be further from the truth. You are all short-lived bags of rotten meat, and to choose between you would be akin to choosing between a deceased carcass and a plate of aged food.”
“If any of you choose to abstain, your frivolous, selfish murder of democracy will be met with an equal, if not greater, murder.” – Overlord Primarch
“However, if any of you choose to abstain as well, your frivolous, selfish murder of democracy will be met with an equal, if not greater, murder.”
And now it’s walking off, taking his soldiers and political cohorts with it.
Welcome to Election Day everybody! Now I’m gonna go cast my vote before it looks like I’m abstaining … and before the queues get too big or covered in blood.
– Flynn
