And the winner is…
After what has been one of the busiest days in Crumble’s recent history, the votes for Crumble Mayor are finally in – with a shock victory for Mr Minopoly!
Minopoly takes the cake…
…and he’d probably eat it, too – just look at the rotund bugger. Goodness knows how he manages it despite these constant food shortages.
We are all angry
Nobody thought he would win
Moppers is a dick
Anyhoo, in what many at the town hall are calling a shock victory, Mr Minopoly has come back from a race in which he desperately lagged behind, jumping up in votes at the last minute to steal the day. Yeppo, once we brought in a new vote counter post-attack, we stumbled upon what must have been the buried treasure of Minopoly – a bloody trove of votes for our financial-minded candidate, pushing him at the last minute to the front of the queue. In fact, I’m not sure I saw a single Edwina vote in the pile. Weird, that.
Mr Minopoly has come back from a race in which he desperately lagged behind, jumping up in votes at the last minute to steal the day.
I must say, after a night of violence and attacks from Monopolite gang-bangers, there’s a hell of a lot of upset here at the town hall. We were kinda hoping to rub it in the bastards’ faces that they lost to Edwina, but then, if wishes were fishes, I would have eaten sometime this week.
What will a Mr Minopoly mayorship mean for Crumble?
Well I’ve wasted words speculating about Edwina Packard for mayor in my other post, so we may as well do the same again for this bugger.
In my first update about Mr Minopoly way back at the start of this whole nonsense, I reckoned his strengths were the following:
- Financing and budgets
- Town strategic planning
- Saying “what what” and growing a moustache
And you know, I won’t disagree with any of those now that we’re here at the end. The man knows his money and there ain’t no denying that, and his moustache is as fine as they come – and they don’t come very often, lemme tell ya. No sirree, you need nutrients in your body to grow a moustache as fine as that, and most of us don’t got ’em.
The man knows his money and there ain’t no denying that, and his moustache is as fine as they come.
We know Minopoly can be arrogant, bold, and bossy, and we know for certain that he is quite happy to eliminate people as necessary to achieve his goals. But then, we were preparing for secret disappearances with Edwina, so at least we’re mentally ready. Anyway, Mr Minopoly will probably be more public with his executions, so on the bright side, we get to watch.
So there you have it, people of Crumble. We have a new mayor, and it’s a big fat bloke with a moustache and a weird skull.
What a time to be alive.
– Flynn
