As an ongoing work of fiction with a bit of history, there may be elements to the Crumble Bulletin that you don’t understand, or haven’t heard about. Kind of like when your friend talks about her ‘boyfriend’ called Chaz, but you know that nobody’s met him. There are plot holes and character omissions, but your friend is confident in the work of Chaz, and so the rest of you just have to nod, pat her on the back and start making her a Tinder account.
The details below will give you a little bit of info about what’s what and who’s who in the world of Crumble.
Oughta Go
Oughta Go is a large, southern region of the Waste famous for its civilisation. Second Edin, the capital, is a reportedly* peaceful coastal city with a real, functioning university. Is it a good university? Well, given that it’s essentially the only one … sure?
As far as origins are concerned, most people believe that long ago, the locals thought Oughta Go would be a good name to boost tourism and therefore profits. It didn’t really work. The constant fear of death made sure of that.
*the locals may disagree. But it’s all relative, innit?
Crumble
Crumble is the largest town in its area (Central Oughta Go), with actual functioning markets, mostly radiation-clean farms and even a seat of local government. It’s the regional hub of the area, and arguably the most important place for miles in all directions. Just don’t stay for too long, or go out at night. Or at all.
-Overlord Command
Overlord Command is the seat of power in Central Oughta Go. Overlords are a robotic race that nobody is quite sure the origins of anymore, but which many blame the end of the Old World on. Led by a central unit known as the Primarch, Overlord Command keeps order in Crumble and One Acre, with their sole remaining purpose in life to prevent humanity from destroying more of itself or the planet. Of course, they have long found that the most efficient means to achieve this end is force. Lots and lots of force.
In a day-to-day sense, the Overlords don’t really have much to do with the actual running of humanity, but their constant presence is like an alien in a sci-fi horror movie – everyone knows it’s there, they know death is in that long corridor, but they have to walk down it anyway.
One Acre
The small township of One Acre is around 12 hours walking north of Crumble. This tiny place is probably up for the award of ‘Town Attacked Least by Bandits’, as almost nobody with nefarious intentions ventures there. The reason being, almost nobody with non-nefarious intentions ventures there – it’s a dead end. Additionally, if you climb over the One Acre Wall – which stretches from One Acre to The Queen’s Town – it literally is a dead end. As in, you die.
One Acre acts as a fortress, doing its best to keep out the horrors of the Western Forests, which sends out hordes of man-eating trees and other carnivorous shrubberies regularly. Townsfolk from around the region and beyond live and work here, patrolling the vast expanse of the wall and generally suffering.
The Queen’s Town
About 13 hours south of Crumble is The Queen’s Town. Sprawling along narrow foothills between a lake of acid and towering, plant-infested mountains, this shitty place is where a gang of thugs lives (the Queens). They’re not recognised as official bandits yet, but they’ll get there one day if they keep trying! A few more murders, a bit more pillaging, and maybe a kidnapping or two, that’s all it’ll take.
Alex’s Town
An insignificant place, where all the townsfolk are called Alex. There are, in total, about four or five of them at any given time (they are prone to sudden violence, more so than your average Wastelander).
Interested in a piece of the world that isn’t listed here, or explained anywhere else in the Bulletin? Get in touch with Duncan via Facebook, Twitter, or contact enquiry@crumblebulletin.com.
